By Love Undone by Suzanne Enoch

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥♥

This book really has it all - witty banter, lovable characters, superb one-liners, and a wonderfully original doing-it scene in a proper London drawing room. 

He: Quinlan Bancroft, Marquis of Warefield is everything you would expect a nobleman to be - gentlemanly, urbane, immensely wealthy and of course, possessed of looks "to disquiet a maiden's heart." We find out as the story progresses, he is sensitive, charming and plain old nice. Importantly, he is far from the do-gooding papa's boy he appears to be at the outset. 

She: Maddie Willits is the paid companion of Quin's uncle, Malcolm Bancroft. She assists Malcolm in the management of Langley Hall and has proven herself a worthy helper. We also learn that she is hiding from a scandal in her youth when she is ruined by lordly scumbag.

Conflict: Although Quin is immediately struck by Maddie's uniqueness, he also knows nothing can come of his flirtation with her - their social situations are just too different and besides, he has been betrothed, practically since birth, to a woman of impeccable refinement and breeding. Maddie, for her part, wants nothing to do with Quin because in her experience, fancy London noblemen cause nothing but trouble for girls like her.

There's a lot of push and pull between H&h; their chemistry is undeniable but so is the utter impossibility of their being together. Their arguments are heated and laced with a sort of comic brilliance that I, who am not normally one for histrionics between men and women, was actually a little disappointed that I have never experienced for myself, the sort of passionate anger that leads to ripped bodices and mangled cravats. Ah well...That's what romance novels are for!

Love and Other Perishable Items by Laura Buzo

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

New favorite question to ask when reading anything, including Justin Bieber's twitter feed: "What was the point of the whole series of events if not for the hero to mature?"


Amelia is 15 and possesses all the usual accouterments of a pre-adult girl: insecurity about her looks, a confused love/hate relationship with her family and an Australia-sized capacity for crushing on a boy. She's emotional and earnest and invests an inordinate amount of her teenage intensity in characters from classical literature. Gatsby and Daisy get some harsh reproach, as do the Pip/Estella/Mrs. Havisham trifecta from Great Expectations. She heaps special judgement on those characters she decides are weak-minded in their romantic affairs.

In one of her rants against the feeble-mindedness of one character in her literature books who is pining for the love of another she poses the question "What was the point of the whole series of events if not for the hero to mature?" What a perfect question for a teenager, nay any-ager, to ask! It's especially wonderful because thinking about an answer shows the hilarious mixture of self-reflection and self-blindness that every person - not just 15-year-old hormonal adolescents - have boiling up within them. 

Chris, the object of Amelia's adoration, is a charming, outgoing lad of 21 years. He is friend and mentor to Amelia, dazzling her with his worldliness and University-man panache. Of course, their love can never be. Their age gap makes it impossible and besides, he is playing Gatsby to another - a girl who has broken his heart and sentences him to "a lifestyle of soul-wrenching loneliness and sexual frustration." He is, as his sister points out, "pretty passionate about [his] unhappiness." Despite his many bad habits - drinking, drugs and an obsession with playing the "Field" (he capitalizes "the Field" in his diary) - Chris is a good boy. From his ramblings in his diary, we learn that he's a decent chap and I have great hopes that one day he'll be a good man. 
How Amelia tries to hide her feelings for Chris while simultaneously reaching out to him for company and friendship are adorable. Like watching a puppy try to climb down the stairs for the first time. You want her to succeed but are waiting for the tragi-comic tumble of fluff and fur that you are certain will take place. 


I really enjoyed the book. I initially had some reservations because I felt that apart from some sharp observations about how young people learn to love, not much actually happens in the book. But I see now that I was wrong. What was the point of the whole series of events if not for the hero to mature? I think, the story ended before true maturity takes hold - Amelia does learn a few things that will probably lead her to maturity eventually. But I am still waiting for the tumble down the stairs. Nevertheless, I left with the feeling that when the tumble does happen it won't be a bone-crushing one. Both characters will probably be changed by the experience, maybe even mature, but certainly not broken.

The Best Man by Kristan Higgins

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

First of all, KH is wonderful and amazing and I want to jump up and down every time I read a new book of hers. Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's begin. 

He: Chief of Police* of a small upstate NY town. He used to be a bad boy in high school but has shaped up nicely and is now universally loved by everyone in town. 

She: Girl who gets jilted at the altar and then leaves her hometown to get away from her ex-fiance and the inevitable gossiping, but also to "find herself". She does manage to rebuild a great life for herself in San Francisco but never quite stops blaming the H, her ex-fiance's best friend, for ruining her wedding to the "perfect man".

Conflict: 1) She has to get over the fact that the H "ruined" her wedding, 2) Will she really move back to her hometown and will the H sack up and ask her to stay?

A few things that I thought were especially great/interesting:

1) Lovely setting - wine country in upstate NY. Lends to the sweet and romantic mood but in KH's hands, avoids being trite. I mean, a vineyard? This could easily have veered off into a horrible morass of sickly sweet grapey-ness - remember a Walk in the Clouds? Oh Keanu, you beautiful dummy.

2) The H was more alpha that KH's usual Hs. Which I hearted greatly.

3) There were some interesting examples of difficult relationships - particularly the one between the h's grandparents. It was very refreshing to see that issue dealt with so well in a romance novel - some (maybe most) relationships are products of circumstance and chance and don't really progress perfectly. It was a good reminder that we are living in a generation that is lucky enough to get to even pursue love and romance for their own sake. All the examples of disastrous relationships also provide good contrast to the main romantic relationship in the book between the h & H.

4) Once again we get to see a KH protagonist have a passion for something other than her man. This h loves the outdoors, nature, and her family's land and legacy. She works as a landscape designer and is good at her job. And she has a dog.

Things that were strange-interesting:

1) The H's name is Levi Cooper... anyone else thinking about a dude in a denim shirt and jeans. Maybe a Lee Cooper shirt and jeans from Levi's?

2) Seemed like the h was angry at the wrong guy the whole time. Surely it was a good thing that the H put an end to her marriage to a TOTALLY wrong guy? Why did she stay so angry with him? She does thank him for it in the end, but seemed like he saved her from a huge disaster up front so her bitterness towards him was extremely misplaced.

That's it...I'm such a KH fan-girl that I can't even think critically anymore... 

*There is something about this small-town sheriff/police chief trope that I am really beginning to enjoy. They're alpha but in a different way than a big-city lawyer/detective/biz tycoon is alpha. I guess there is the underlying theme of "caretaking" of the citizenry that automatically shows him to be a father-figure and a man of action and responsibility. Oooo mama. I feel safer just knowing such a man is out there (in my imagination).

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

Reading this book was like taking a pleasant walk in the English countryside with your elderly uncle - a slow meandering pace punctuated by your uncle's sharply witty asides delivered periodically as you both bend down to observe a mushrooms growing in the shade of one of the countryside's towering yews. That's what I imagine elderly British gentlemen do during their walks, anyway.


It is the story of a retired Major who feels keenly the loss of the old ways. A fervent traditionalist, he almost surprises himself when he forms a friendship with Mrs. Ali, the keeper of the village sundry shop and a woman of Pakistani descent. The friendship between them develops into a sweet, cozy love and we get to see a man of somewhat rigid beliefs make the brave effort to adapt and change his staunchly held worldview with wonderful dignity.

The story was lovely, maybe a leeeetle bit slow, but the slowness of the pace was more than made up for by how FUNNY the story was. Just little hail stones of prickling observation sprinkled throughout, usually in the Major's "voice", that melted before you can pick them up and hold them in your hand to over-analyze them.

Here are a couple of gems: 

"Perhaps it was the result of evolution, he thought - some adaptive gene that allowed the English to go on making blithe outdoor plans in the face of almost certain rain"

"His face wore the glazed expression of someone calculating how much of a smile to deliver"

"...as I get older, I find myself insisting on my right to be philosophically sloppy"

"...they resembled to halves of a walnut, charming in their wrinkled symmetry"

"He opened his mouth to say that she looked extremely beautiful and deserved armfuls of roses, but the words were lost in committee somewhere, shuffled aside by the parts of his head that worked full-time on avoiding ridicule"

I better stop now or I'll just end up quoting the entire book! 

Ok, ONE more and then I'm really stopping:

"I always thought it important to decide where one would be buried, and then one could sort of work life out backward from there."

Damsel in This Dress by Marianne Stillings

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

Fairly typical, not-so-mysterious-stalker mystery, but who the hell cares? It was cute and well-written and generally a good time read. MS is a fun, fun, fun writer. Quick, snappy banter and some really silly situations that MS manages to make seem believable and charming.


He: Detective and writer of tough-guy crime novels whose literary efforts, despite earning him a large fan following, fail to make an agreeable impression on the h.

She: Editor of a small town paper who sometimes reviews books. She writes several harsh reviews of his books for her small readership to which he takes great umbrage.

Conflict: After a pugnacious back-and-forth over email over her unfavorable review of his latest book, H&h meet by chance at a writer's conference. Once they realize who the other is, each is predisposed to dislike the other - except for the pesky attraction buzzing between them. When it turns out she has stalker*, he sets aside his annoyance at her unfairly negative reviews and puts on his Protector hat and sets out to save the day, and the pretty lady. 

Sooo cheesy. But we love it.


*On that note, I must wonder why on earth so many contemporaries go with the Crazy Stalker plotline. I mean, how many stalkers can there possibly on earth? Any why are they all out to get these lovely, adorable ladies. Well...at least these chicks have a delicious detective to take care of them and keep them safe. Lucky them.

Candy Store by Bella Andre

Skeptic scale: ♥

Suspension of disbelief sends local Romantical Skeptic into anaphylactic shock. "I saw a tunnel," said the exhausted woman, "the light at the end of it grew larger and larger and then, all of a sudden, I saw a man standing there. That man was 50 cent."

Part 1 - Introduction
Before I begin, allow me to remind you of another candy store immortalized by the great, and simply charming, 50 Cent.

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Go ahead girl, don't you stop
Keep going til you hit the spot, whoaa

I'll take you to the candy shop (yea)
Boy, wanna taste what I got (uh huh)
I'll have you spending all you got (c'mon)
Keep going til you hit the spot, whoaa

You could have it your way
How do you want it?
You gonna back that thing up or should I push up on it?
Temperature rising, ok
Let's go to the next level
Dance floor jam packed, hot as a tea kettle
I break it down for you now, baby it's simple
If you be a nympho, I be a nympho
In the hotel or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park, it's whatever you into
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor
Have your friends teaching you about how sprung I got you
When you show me what you working baby, No problem
Get on top, get your bounce around like a low rider
I'm a seasoned vet, when it come to this shit
After you work up a sweat, you could play with the stick
I'm trying to explain baby, the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hand (uh huh)

You're welcome.

Because if you are in the mood to read something fun and raunchy, you may as well read the lyrics to this song, because Candy Store, the book, is just so far beyond absurd that you might end up with an aneurysm. I can't even review this. I am without speech. But you need to know so I will summarize the story in one breath so I don't waste a second Oxygen/CO2 cycle on this. 

Part 2 - Snapshot summary
Here goes:

Callie's beloved candy store is going to have to close because she has put all her energy into making orgasmic truffles and none into learning how to do the books but that's ok because it turns out Derek (Derek!?) who she hooks up randomly with at her friend's wedding is the Candy King, the man who Fixes Things for the candy industry (I know, WTF?) and can help her fix her business by making her a website (because the Internet is SO hard, you guys) and advising her to sell hot chocolate to ice skaters and while doing all this they hook up multiple times in uncomfortably icy places (an industrial refrigerator (!?), by the side of a frozen-over lake, in a supply closet) which they are apparently unconcerned with because their passion keeps them toasty.

I think you may as well stop reading right here. I mean, the dude's name is DEREK and he's the CANDY KING. The profession of being a Candy King, apparently pays well enough to let him drive a Ferrari. Apart from a general curiosity about what type of emergency fix-it man is needed at the Hershey's and Jelly Belly plants, you already have all the information you need to make a decision about whether or not this story is to your taste. You should probably all just move on and save yourselves.

Unfortunately for me, I'm sunk. I can't let it go and I will move on to Part 3 of my rant. I advise you not to join me there because it'll seriously bring you down. The negativity, the harshness. You'll be miserable.

Part 3 - Chapter breakdown
I'm going to practically have to go line by line from beginning to end and make my comments because I won't be able to sleep ever again until I purge everything from my system. Let's begin.

Chap 1&2: H & h meet at the bar at the wedding of mutual friends. He's having a drink, she asks for "anything strong". He instructs the bartender to give her a tequila shot (rude, you can't just barge in and force someone to drink nasty hard alcohol). He then proceeds to teach her how to drink a tequila. The sexy way, obviously. By licking the salt off the other person and then sucking the lime off of the wedge in the other person's mouth. Yeah, ok I get how this can be hot on a sultry night in Tijuana. But we're at a wedding in Saratoga guys. Pack it in. 

Also, how come she didn't learn how to do tequila shots from watching The Cutting Edge (that movie about a US Olympic ice skating double) like everyone else? I watched that when I was 15 and although I didn't actually get to drink a shot till I was legal, I knew the mechanics. 

Chap 3&4: While the are doing their inappropriate little public tequila seduction, the H is called away to make his best man speech and she runs off to hide because she is so embarrassed. Where does she run off to? Not out the door into the parking lot or anything. But into the kitchen and into one of the big refrigerators. Recall that these are places where the mob stores their fresh kills or locks people in to die of cold and fright. He follows and finds her - the creepiness of this stalkerish action gave me chills down my back - and they proceed to do it against one of the shelves. 

Several points to make here: 1) George Costanza gets "shrinkage" from a few minutes in the pool and this guy can get it up in an icy fridge against a cold metal shelf? What a stud. 2) Why don't they arrange to meet in warmer climes (a bedroom, perhaps) in an hour or so when the wedding is over and they are not standing in a place that houses meat and dairy. They had one lousy tequila shot - they were hardly drunk enough engage in this level of nonsensical behavior.

Chap 5-12: They meet again when both learn that that he is, in fact, the Candy King and she has hired him to save her business by making innovative suggestions like having her build an e-commerce website. They manage to hook up again in several awkward and horribly cold places (e.g. outdoors next to a public ice skating rink in winter) while her business and their romance begin to thrive. 

I take a moment here to mention Derek's backstory. He has been hurt, terribly hurt, before by a money-grubbing fiancee who wanted him to be more than the Candy King (more? the man has a Ferrari for God's sake!). In fact, the ex-fiancee would have definitely approved of Derek's brother's insistence that Derek join his boring but successful accounting firm. But Callie is different. She loves him for him, not his Kingdom of Confection. Or so he thought. At a family dinner, he overhears Callie compliment his brother on his successful accounting practice and Derek construes this to mean that she too is a money-crazed b*-atch who wants him to sell out and be a boring old accountant. 

He drives off in his Ferrari (Wait! I mentioned that the automobile he drives is a luxury sports car, right? Because you should know that despite how it sounds, being a Candy King is a huge alpha dog characteristic) and throws a hissy fit at her apparent duplicity. She decides to go after him but chooses to wander around in the freezing rain and cold and ends up shivering in a ball at his doorstep. He picks her up and tenderly cares for her because she's a cold, helpless lamb who doesn't own proper winter gear. He now realizes he's been an ass and apologizes by sending her dozens of bouquets of flowers (oh, brother) and hires a string quartet (gag) and proposes to her in her candy store (barf). On Valentines Day (Sweet Merciful Zeus, there's no room left in the puke bucket!)

The end.

I'm feeling a little better now. Thanks, Skeptics. Sharing really does help.

Rules to Catch a Devilish Duke by Suzanne Enoch

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥♥
Fallen women have all the fun.

I absolutely devoured this book. Loved it and said "awwww" out loud at least three times and didn't care that I was being a pathetic drip.

She: Illegitimate daughter of a nobleman who works in a gentlemen's gaming club. She's not your normal "ruined woman" heroine - you know the ones who have lost their virtue but retain an ethereal innocence that attracts the rakish hero. Nope. She's wicked and she has a lot of fun with it. 

He: Duke who has to give up his raking ways to marry before he turns thirty or he loses his fortune. Obviously, he looks for ladies of gentle breeding and noble birth as befits his station in life. But since he's a rake and intractable roue he can't help but be charmed by the decidedly un-virtuous h. 

Big positives
1) SE took some risks with both h & H - both are highly "modern" characters in their attitudes. But this risk was well worth it because both h & H were so sweet, so lovable, that you can't help but root for them. I actually think the modernity of especially the h's behavior when it comes to sex was dealt with so well that every girl in 2013 could sympathize acutely

2) The H is "hard to pin down" - he is described as detached, unemotional, moody and an all-round ducal bad@ss but he is so nice to the h and to everyone else that it doesn't quite fit with the description - doesn't fit, that is, until you see that the dark descriptions are reflective of what he thinks of himself, not a true description of his character. He is, in reality an all-round nice guy - he is nice to dogs, his servants, ladies (even fallen ones) and his shrew of a sister.

3) I loved the setting. I don't often read Regency romances set in almost Wuthering Heights-like bleakness. It's winter and everything is cold and dreary and you can almost feel the warmth lit by these two people - it's all very cozy and romantic. The Lit majors can discuss the metaphors of the icy conditions of his heart being reflected by his surroundings etc etc. but I shall only say that it was interesting and refreshing to watch the characters romp about in the snow and ice as opposed to walking sedately in the inevitable verdure of an English garden

Mild negatives
1) I didn't really get the sister character. She seemed to have a serious motive for the H not marrying so not sure why she was pressuring him to wed anyone at all. But ultimately I don't think it mattered that much. She was supposed to one of the villains so it's fine that she was not acting entirely rationally. Also, maybe she was also just terribly sad and embittered by her awful father and did a poorer job than her brother in coming out as a more graceful adult

2) Grey eyes for H and green eyes for h - this is something of SE's calling card and it feels overdone. I am a lover of this combination, true, but there are only so many times one can be entranced by descriptions of grey and green. There is one point where she refers to the H and also a previous H from a prior book - and there is a slightly awkward tangle where she tries to come up with different ways to describe the color grey. It was slightly amusing but also maybe a hint that the time has come for say a brown-eyed H? Tawny, whiskey-colored, coffee, mahogany, amber - pick your overcooked description! 

Obviously, this is a personal preference and does nothing at all to detract from the overall awesomeness of the book!