Sunday, May 19, 2013

Colin Firth Is the Hottest Thing to Have Fallen Into a Muddy Pond, Ever

I think we can all agree that Colin Firth is the man. Not just for his pretty brown eyes or how tall he is. Or because he looks awesome all rumpled up. Not even because he does charmingly befuddled Brit man-candy like NO ONE else. If you have any doubts about his desirableness, recall that this is the man who made MUDDY PONDS look like hot tubs at the Playboy mansion. Extremely foxy.

To wit:

1. Man Stares Broodingly Into Muddy Pond Before Jumping In and Making Us All Wish We Were Eels So We Could Get All Tangled Up In His Business.

This is the scene that kicked it all off, of course. When Darcy jumps in the pond near his estate in his billowy white shirt and snug breeches. The best thing about this scene arguably has nothing to do with how cute he looked all drippy and disheveled when he runs into Elizabeth Bennett right after, but that it told us a few things about his personality. That in spite of his prideful demeanor, this hero has the capacity to be adventurous and unconventional. Because if the man was hot and sweaty after the long ride to his country estate, he would damn well jump in a pond if he wanted to.

2. Man Jumps Into Freezing Cold Lake After Girl Because He Doesn't Want Her to Think He's a "Total Spaz"
This one is awesome. Maybe even my favorite of all the CF Muddy Pond scenes. All the pages of his manuscript ("rubbish") fly into the lake because Aurelia, his housekeeper, mistakenly lifts the cup holding them all down. She jumps in the lake to save the pages. And he jumps in after her because he doesn't want her to think he's unchivalrous. The first words out of his mouth are "F&%$, its cold." Winner. What does his jumping in tell us about him? That he's a sweetie pie and that he's scared of eels (he freaks out when he thinks he feels an eel). 

3. Man Drags His Arch-rival Into Pond to Fight For Her Honor Even Though He Looks Utterly Ridiculous Doing It
Fighting for a lady's honor? Who DOES that anymore? Seeing as it's not 1540, the lady could probably have figured out how to handle her own honor so the gesture was largely unnecessary .. but the fact that he did it! Sigh. 

Anyway, I hope to see many more instances of CF leaping into small bodies of water. Because Colin + Muddy Ponds = Pond-tastic awesomeness. See. girls? Math is fun.

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