Sunday, August 11, 2013

Here Comes the Groom by Karina Bliss

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥

I've been on a Australasia binge lately! A lot of Karina Bliss and Sarah Mayberry. Fun stuff. 

So... I liked this one okay

There was something about the friends-to-lovers thing that didn't really strike me as believable in this one. I know friends-to-lovers is a popular theme for many romance readers, but I don't really like them because I feel like it gives more ammunition to the side of the world that believes that girls and boys can't be friends - something I absolutely do not accept and do not believe at all.

In this case, H & h have been friends since childhood and there has been no hint of a romantic interest between the two of them that whole time. Well, except for this one tiny kiss they share when she's drunk and lonely. 

Then he comes back from a traumatic experience while fighting in Afghanistan and announces he wants to marry her.

He: Ex-soldier, insists that 'everything is fine' but we sense that he's going through some terrible stress. And even though he's always been a good friend to her, he's kept himself apart. 

She: She's a strong, independent, competent lady. She's always been capable of taking care of her own affairs and has never played the damsel in distress with him - something that he has said he truly appreciates. But then when she goes through this terrible stressful situation, she feels like she shouldn't really burden him with her crap, especially since he's clearly been affected by the war and she doesn't want to add to that.

Conflict: This is the part that felt a bit "off kilter" to me. I see why the would be a good match, but how come they never saw it all those years they were friends. And then, I wasn't quite sure how they each SUDDENLY knew this was the right decision? I guess in life, people don't necessarily have a seminal moment that explains everything they do, but surely they had hints? 

Anyway so the story conflict is that when she does realize she loves him, she wants them to marry for the right reasons, not because they are both too scared of life. 

There is some weird stuff right at the end where he goes through this whole "Grand Gesture" that is supposed to prove that they are meant to be together - that they are both facing their fears and taking real risks to be with one another. But honestly, I really didn't get it. The main trouble for me was that the gesture didn't really seem to be tied to their actual fears - except maybe in a distantly symbolic way.

Skeptic's last word: So. All in all, a decent read, but I thought the "falling in love" stuff was really rather abrupt and there was none of the regular tension built up between them that would convince me that they really wanted each other. I came away feeling like they were both kind of just "settling" for their best friend. Not a terrible way to begin a relationship, of course, just not really the way you'd hope.

What the Librarian Did by Karina Bliss

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

Vintage-clad librarian gets it on with jaded, alpha-hole, ex-rocker dude. I thought I would totally hate it. But I totally, TOTALLY loved it. 

He: Earring wearing, ex-rocker and basically a stuck up jerk for most of his famous life. He had been a substance abuser and a womanizer and a wearer of purple boots. He's in New Zealand, in retirement and to escape from his rollicking LA life of dissipation.

She: A goody two shoes librarian who's got a big secret. Ohhh. I WISH I could tell you the secret. But I CAN'T because it's such a good one and I want everyone to read this book.

Conflict: They do NOT get along well. She thinks he's stuck up and he thinks she's lame. They're both right, of course. But then they spend some time together and it's sparky and hot, and super fun.

What I loved:
1) SO funny. The characters play off each other wonderfully. And it's not the cheesy way you'd expect with all the jokes at her expense (school-marmish, dowdily dressed librarian?) with him coming across as a rakish tease. The insults fly both ways and it's awesome.

And honestly even though the H is described as arrogant, he is actually hilarious about it. Supremely confident but aware of his shortcomings the way we wish all our men would be.

2) There are some intense themes (feelings of abandonment, self-discovery, family struggles) but it's all dealt with a light hand and great humor so you don't feel mopey and sad the whole time.

3) I love that the h's focus wasn't ALL about the H. She had this other secret thing she's dealing with and for more than half the book she's pretty focused on that. She recognizes the attraction between them but that doesn't overshadow her own stuff. I really don't like it when authors describe how the heroine is going through this whole life changing thing and then all of a sudden the hero swoops in and all she does is stress over HIM. 

My favorite line: 

"I'll just get my cardigan"

Cardigan? He may not be a hell-raiser anymore but Devin valued his reputation. "Haven't you got anything sexy?"

"Yes," said Rachel. "My mind."  

You said it, sister.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

All He Ever Needed by Shannon Stacey

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥

Famous last words: It's just sex, we're not serious or anything.

Why do people even say stuff like that? If I've learned anything from romance novels (and believe me, I've learned PLENTY) saying dumb sh!t like that is like waving a baby mouse in front of a irate cobra. Pretty obvious how that story ends.

Anyway, obvious-sauce aside, I really enjoyed this story. To think I almost gave up on this series! After 3-hearting Yours to Keep, I almost threw in the towel with the Kowalski brothers because it was getting rather same-y same-y. But I guess all I needed was a break because this story, as "standard" as it was, was pretty darn fun.

He: Mitch, the town's favorite bad-boy panty-charmer rides back into town after a long absence and seems to immediately inflame the female population of the small town like a match on dry kindling. The ladies of the town chatter unceasingly about his many feats of sexual prowess so we quickly learn that the man is kind of a big deal bedroom-wise.

She: The owner of the main diner in town who is taking a break from men. She has some history and doesn't want to be the kind of woman her mom turned into - the kind of twists herself into uncomfortable shapes to please a man. Not bedroom-wise, but life-wise.

Conflict: He's just in town for a quick stint to help his brother out, she doesn't want to get into anything to wreck the careful peace she's put together for herself so they agree to just be casual. Yeaaaaah. Then one of them decides that maybe they could have something serious. But then they get their heart broken because the other one hasn't gotten there (yet). I won't say who moved faster in this case because that would be giving it away. But I'll give you a hint. 99.9% of the time it's the chick who moves too fast. And this book wasn't really that original. So...

I don't know why I'm being so mean to this book! I really liked it! It was funny, hot and even managed to be realistic in parts. It was just so regular that I actually amazed myself by not getting annoyed by all the cliches.

Skeptic's last word: At the end of the day the question I ask myself whenever I read a romance was answered: why the heck do these guys like each other? Ms. Stacey showed us clearly why these two characters liked and then loved each other and why we the readers should find them lovable, and ultimately that was all that mattered.

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Return of Rafe McKade by Nora Roberts

Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥

I was literally JUST talking about the change in the alpha hero landscape from the Old School variety to this 2.0 modified alpha version. I had this whole argument for the new, more sensitive, nice-guy version and then I re-read this book! I am feeling all nostalgic for the Old School types again...sigh.

Anyway - quick run down of the salient plot points.

He: One of 4 bad-boy brothers in a small town who blazed out of town years ago because he was restless and felt like he needed to get out (or punch something, which he incidentally does, a LOT). Now he's back - still too hot to handle, but also successful and wealthy and too pretty for his own good. 

He takes one look at her and like a roaming African boy wildebeest who sees the glistening hindquarters of his perfect girl wildebeest, he goes - her, I'll take her. And it's on.

She: A recent import to the small town so she didn't know his bad boy self when he was growing up and gets to see it all fresh for the first time when he comes rolling back to his hometown after his self-imposed exile. Lucky ducky. She's running an antique store and he hires her to furnish the property he's restoring now that he's back in town. She's determined not to become her mother (traditional, husband-serving, personality-less) so she's not keen to have him overwhelm her better judgement and tries to keep aloof.

Conflict: He blows hot and strong and it's all a bit much for her so she tells him to dial it back a bit. He obviously does the opposite (because dude, he's a MAN) and pretty soon they're humping like bunnies in the old haunted property he's trying to restore. He spends a lot of time announcing his wicked intentions to her. And warning everyone else to back off of HIS woman. She does an admirable job of keeping him er, civilized, but his manliness and need to protect her finally overwhelms her better sense and she gracefully succumbs. Good old fashioned romance, in other words.

Skeptic's last word: I mean... this is an OLD book (1995s, I think) - but still manages to be a hoot to read. The is PLENTY of sillysauce in the book (he seems to prefer resolving conflict like a hormonal 16 year old - bar fights and gorilla chest-thumping - and channels all sexual frustration into some black, black moods.) But somehow, I didn't mind at all. Nora Roberts entertained and charmed and it was all just a sweet, sometimes hot experience. 

It made me miss the Old School alphas of yore. "Yore" being 1995 apparently. Good times.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Other Side of Us by Sarah Mayberry

The Other Side of Us by Sarah Mayberry
Skeptic scale: ♥♥♥♥


Loved this! This was my first Sarah Mayberry and I am SOLD. I have just picked up another few of hers and shall begin work on the backlist post haste!

This story was set in Australia. I recommend you read everything in an 'Strailian accent to maximize on your enjoyment.

He: N ice, sweet, ex-rock star/current music producer who's come to a little seaside town to lick his wounds after a particularly sucky divorce from his wife of 6 years. His divorce is still warm from the oven, having happened only a few months before, so he's not exactly in a place to be starting up with anyone else. 

She: A high powered tv producer who is recovering from a horrendous car accident. She is having a tough time physically with her recovery but worse than that is that her spirits are also in tatters when she realizes there is the chance that she may not be able to get back to the job into which she had poured prior to her accident.

Conflict: The H moves into the cottage next door to hers and things don't begin well for the two of them. She's depressed and anxious about her future prospects and behaves like a cow whenever he tries to extend any neighborly goodwill. But then, as they spend more time interacting, they discover an attraction between them. 

The trouble is that as much as they like each other, they are each in such a complicated situation personally (he is still sort of sore with all the issues surrounding his divorce, she is still trying to figure out how she wants to spend the rest of her life without her work) that the timing just feels all wrong.

What I liked:
1) H & h each have a dog. The pooches are much less slow than their owners about developing their doggy affection for one another. This could have been SO corny, but Ms. Mayberry dealt with these side characters with the respect due to their species. Awesome.

2) The Epilogue. OMG. Wait, before I oversell this I should say that I usually roll my eyes and feel annoyed at epilogues (mainly because they are ALL THE SAME - H&h still behaving like passionate honeymooners, baby/mini-me-in-the-making, perfect life, perfect friends, perfect perfect perfect (blech)). This one was still perfect, but it actually helped tie the story together and was a way of actually progressing the characters themselves and not just a way to show how the characters had achieved some sort of baby-house-perfection milestone.

3) The conflict was entirely believable and there were no unnecessary "misunderstandings". Everything was just laid out on the table and both characters behaved like sensible adults instead of loony, oversexed adolescents. I think I really like "the timing is off" books. It just feels like one of those conflicts I can really understand and find believable. I mean, we all have had those types of situations or know others who have. And I just find myself really getting drawn in because I can so easily see that happening in real life.

4) The writing was really fun! Witty and fast paced, and totally readable. I wanted to pick another one of Ms. Mayberry's up AS SOON as I finished with this one!

What I wondered about:
1) The h apparently did have family but I was a bit confused about why she was convalescing all by herself. Where were all her friends and family? No phone calls? No visits? I guess she was trying to grit her teeth and be independent and to power through all by herself. But it was still strange. I always get weirded out when a person is described as being so all alone. Does she even LIKE people? 

In the end, not a big deal because she likes him and he likes her and that's that.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Old School Alpha Heroes Get Even Hotter. Thank You, World.

I want to talk about heroes for a minute. Oh, who am I kidding, I want to talk about heroes ALL the time. 

In my early romance reading days, I think I only read books with alpha heroes. I was kind of convinced that every hero was basically the same dude. He was:
  • Hot
  • Smart
  • Rich/successful
  • Of a privileged class
  • Sort of a bad boy (or at least had been in his unruly youth, but now the bad-ness lurks tantalizingly just under his skin; he's a saint in a leather jacket) - some of his "badness" is the spicy whiff of him just not giving a crap
  • Uber confident - this man has life by the bollocks.
  • Has a superhero complex - he has a biological imperative to protect his lovely lady with his money, prestige and powerful personality, and if necessary, his fists. 
  • Suffering some sort of internal anguish that causes him pain, a situation that is alleviated by of the heroine in his life
These, as we know, are some of the features of the classic romantic hero archetype from the mad, bad and dangerous-to-know Mr. Rochester to our main man F.W. Darcy. This incarnation of the romantic hero is sometimes called the Byronic hero archetype, and is thought to have caught on with the ladies after he published his narrative poem Childe Harold's Pilgrimage (More on this and Byron and the poem below).

In addition to all these qualities, the Old School alphas were also, alas:
  • Arrogant
  • Bossy
  • Moody and 
  • Terrible at communicating their feelings in a logical and sensible manner, preferring instead to indulge in fits of gross misunderstanding and scowly-ness.
Many of the 1980s and 90s romantic alpha heroes on whom I nursed continued this tradition. Think Clayton Westmoreland the Duke of Claymore from Whitney, My Love, or actually, any of Judith McNaught's heroes. The heroes in Susan Elizabeth Phillips' books who are always these alpha dog jocks and men with incredible success in the bed/boardroom. Every single one of the Scots/highland hero stories where our hero has such a surfeit of testosterone that he manages to make a skirt look as manly as a sweaty jockstrap.

And cheesy squeezy as all this was, I loved it. Listen, I KNEW those alpha dudes were fantasy and totally impossible characterizations of any actual man, even when I was 16, I KNEW.<Shakes head and makes Garfield eyes>. But by the Wings of Pegasus, I loved those arrogant douches.

But why did I love them? Sensing, as I did, that these men were totally unrealistic portrayals of Real Men, cringing as I often would at the rape-y sex scenes and heavy-handedness with which the heroine was often treated - why on earth were these men so attractive to me?

Weeeeelll....I guess one big reason was that as a young sapling, those guys made me feel like someone else, someone big, brawny and capable, would make everything ok in my tiny little world. In my little fantasy universe, unlike in my real un-fantastic life, I didn't have to take charge of anything. I could just hang out and wait to get my ass saved by some mighty highlander with piercing eyes who could see through to my very soul who was possessed of thighs of steel. I didn't know precisely why steely thighs were useful in a man (I was 16, and those were more innocent times), but there was no doubt in my mind that it was a plus. In return, I would be able to remove the tortured pain that he felt with my cheeriness and indefatigable niceness.

But, I have matured, dear Skeptics. I am happy to report that I am kind of over it with douchey heroes. Maybe because now I'm awesome enough to figure out my own cr@p and don't necessarily need a brawny dude to manage stuff, although it would be nice if one would deal with the laundry from time to time. 

Now. I am definitely not saying I like BETA beta heroes. At least not the way they are sometimes written in contemporary romances (you almost NEVER see a beta in historical romances so I don't have a whole lot to reference). 

What do I mean by the traditional beta?

The main characteristic I see exist in the beta hero is that he's passive and let's things happen to him instead of reaching out and controlling his own destiny. This is sometimes, but not always, because he is in a position of low power - he's poor, he's in a lower social strata, he has experienced certain things that have left him with poor self-esteem. 



I don't have a ton of examples, but I guess Mr. Bingley would be a beta in my mind. Would you read a whole book about Bingley? Meh. Mr. Knightly was also kinda passive but I guess that book wasn't so much about the romance between Emma and Knightly, it was more about Emma's own personal growth.


Anyway, over the past hmmmm 10 years or so, I have had a sort of come-to-Jesus event with the New, Improved Alpha who's been showing up all over Romancelandia. I call him the Modified Alpha. And he's the Man.


Alpha hero 2.0: The Modified Alpha
This new generation of heroes have many of the same positive characteristics as the traditional alphas (they're still tall, dark and tortured) but they seem to have shed many of their awful characteristics (moodiness and arrogance), and have become simply swoon-worthy. In a way they are even less realistic than the old school alphas - I mean, those guys had faults, at least. These ones are just decent, communicative (relatively) and sensitive guys who are ALSO awesomely hot, sexual athletes who respect women. 

I mean, what's not to like?

Anyway. The whole point of my ramblings is to say that there's a sea change happening in our dreamtastic fantasy men, Ladies, and I like it. I like it a lot.

What do you guys think? Do you desperately pine for the return of the broody swashbuckler who could pick you up with one hand and crush your problems to fine dust with his square jaw and meat hook hands while he ravishes you on his powerful steed? Or are you in favor of this new trend towards nicer guys with amazing pecs and ability to communicate their feelings AND fights fires for a living?

Do tell! 

Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
I gotta be honest. I tried reading the poem and it was terrible. The hero is just a whiny little brat the whole time, but the interesting thing was how Byron introduced the idea that the hero was something quite different than those strapping Greek boys with their brawn and brutishness, or even those gallant knights who saved fainting damsels every Sunday and Tuesday. Byron's hero had some inner pain that followed him no matter where he journeyed. He may have reached the pinnacle of society in terms of money and prestige, but he would still be burdened by a torment impossible to convert into happiness until he found his true angel. 

Harold doesn't actually find an angel - if I understood the poem correctly, he ends with some ramblings about nature and the sublime, but to be fair Byron was probably high when he wrote this. And it really didn't end well for Byron himself. He left England after a series of scandals and bankruptcy and then after engaging some political intrigues against the Ottomans, he died ignominiously of fever in Greece. Anyway.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Flame and the Flower by Katherine Woodiwiss

Skeptic scale: ♥♥ 
The Queen of Bodice Rippers
It's hard to talk about this book without mentioning its context in the history of the genre. Especially since it was the book that actually helped define the genre. It must have been so thrilling/shocking to have picked this book up in 1972. Imagine being a young Skeptic, having never before read an explicit sex scene in a romance novel, picking this little piece of goodness up and being faced with a rather full-on rape scene in the first 40 pages! 

It's stupid to try and "judge" the material in today's context, but let me just say this thing reads ... interestingly... this second time around, after having read all the generations of historical romance that have been written since. It's hyperbolic (sex scene: stars, heaven, bursting, shattering), and expansive (poor orphan, horrible abuse at the hands of men, journey across the high seas, introduction to an untamed new world) and if it wasn't the Classic it is, it's a pretty horrendous read.

I don't mean any disrespect to the Duenna of the grand tradition of the historical romance as we know it, so I'll doff my hat and drop a curtsy to her right now before I begin outlining the wtfs that had me rolling my eyes in my journey.

1) The Hero and heroine were tres idiotique and never, ever COMMUNICATE like adults: Granted that the heroine was 18 when they meet, but having been 18 myself, I would have bloody well said something like, hey dude - I'm not a prostitute, I'm actually just lost, so you should probably not try to have sex with me. And I get that he's horny and not thinking clearly, but surely he had the company of his right hand for all those months at sea, and unlike a lion or a horse or a wombat who couldn't possibly take care of matters by themselves, this dude could have behaved a little less like a ravening beast and more like a dude who just wanted a little female company. 

And worse than the actual rape (ACK!) was the hero's rather amused reaction when he realizes his mistake. I mean, what the WHAT THE WHAT???? I get that times may have been "rougher" then, but surely he might have spared a moment's regret at having basically hurt and ruined this chick! What a dummy.

2) Fake tension: After the weird rape scene, there is about 80% of the book where the hero behaves like a chaste little choirboy. A moody, irritable little sh!t in other words. God, that guy was the WORST. He's mean and silly and seems unable to communicate like an adult man. And then, when they eventually DO get it on after this torturous almost-year of frustrated chastity, he's kinda nice. So all the aggression and black humor was just a case of extreme sexual frustration?? Again, something that could have been solved in about 100 seconds of him getting cozy with his hand. C'mon bro.

I wonder if their not sleeping together while she is pregnant had more to do with some sort of squeamishness from the audience at the time than something the author necessarily wanted to show? These days, romances seem to have gone the opposite direction with couples going at it like bunnies while she's preggers. Which I don't know if I'm totally into either...

3) The heroine has zero personality: Unless you call being young and hot a personality. She's a scaredy puss in her every interaction with "danger" or intimidation. Fine, she's young. She shows the occasional flash of temper but then it subsides at the first sign of conflict. Ok, she's young and has had a hard life that have left her gun shy. She doesn't seem to have any interests (except taking baths - there are like 25 bath scenes in this book - I appreciate the nod to cleanliness, but c'mon.) People either hate or like her because of her beauty. Her husband basically falls for her because of her ravishing figure and pretty face. But apart from the beauty thing and the youth thing, there doesn't seem to be much going for her.

Maybe this is a way to make the heroine's character more of a "vessel" into which the reader can pour in her own personality and feel all the events with more sympathy? I dunno. I just thought she was lame.

4) Two-dimensional characters: The baddies are BAD. And there are SO MANY BADDIES. Her abusive aunt. Her aunt's lecherous brother. The rapey villain. The hero's jealous lover. The hero for most of the book. The hero's horse was kinda of a d!ck too, come to think of it. I'd have enjoyed a 3rd dimension on some of this stuff.

Anyway, I'll stop there. Would I read this book again? Never. Should you read it? Obvi, sisters. Obvi. It's part of the canon. And when you read a romance novel with the passion that many of us do, you need to know where the genre has come from. Think of it like reading Othello or Moby Dick or some other tedious read that you somehow convince yourself is "art" and clever and enriching.

Skeptic's last word: My recommendation would be to read it aloud, in the company of other Skeptics. In fact, I wish I had read this aloud with my husband and watched his reactions. It would have been a great experience to be able to explain my way through some of the riduculosity that was going on. Ooh. Maybe I WILL read it again, after all!